Treeplanting: The End of an Era

It's been a love/hate relationship since we began 7 years ago. One year, I woke up one day and hated it from the start. That trend continued for well over 100 days. Some days I would just scream, or cry, always cursing that first time I decided to enter into it. Then one day, I decided not to be like that. I decided, one day this year, that I should, would, and want to embrace it, and love it, exactly for what it is and always will be to me. Most days now, I come home having enjoyed my day, or at least most of it. And if I want to punch it, I try to remember why I loved it in the first place.

Now, I am not talking about a physical relationship, in the sense two people in love or lust or infatuation. I am talking about my relationship with TREEPLANTING.

And to be honest I am torn. This will be my last "big year" as I like to call it. My last year with well over 100 days, hell, I'm almost at 90 right now! You see, this fall, I am going back to school, and there is this deep feeling of nostalgia, of a loss I cannot explain. And even though it is not over completely, this relationship of mine, I am melancholic. I feel like it will not be the same from now on. I think mostly because I won't truly be "in it" like so many of the people I love. In the trenches of hellish blocks, climbing through, over, and under giant logs, and planting for my most favorite company, Sitka, a company that feels to me more like a family than any other.

The people I have met throughout the years, thanking them for teaching me, helping shape me, and accepting me exactly for who I am would never be enough. You, I hope know who you are, you loves of mine. You are some of the most compassionate, passionate, intelligent, interesting, accepting, open minded, trustworthy people I have ever met, and maybe will ever meet. There is a certain honesty about you that is hard to find in other circles. I have never felt so at home, so at ease with who I am when I am with you. Thank you. Thank you for teaching me all of your eccentricities and quirks, knowledge and insight, sharing with me your jokes and laughter, but most of all, thank you for being you, and allowing me to be me. I could rattle off so many names that come to my mind, and situations that stick out, but this post may not ever end.

At times, I have been getting choked up over this subject. To me, it is almost like an end to a whole era. I won't be gallivanting around for at least 8 months out of the year, exploring places (in a weird way) that only a handful of others have ever explored. Viewing the open ocean from a heli-pad that maybe, just maybe 10 other people have been to, or seeing Mount Loki from a mountain across the lake from a spot only I have decided to stop and appreciate the beauty of it, or on one crazy clean-up day, looking out over the Broken Islands from the very top of a mountain, these things will never be the same now. I have been so incredibly fortunate in my time treeplanting.

Thank you to my family, who has always (maybe not understanding why) supported me in everything I have done. Mom and Dad, thank you for taking pride in what I do, and loving me through my ups and downs, slip-ups, and fuck-ups (excuse the curse). Thank you for taking a genuine interest in the way treeplanting is. Thank you for fixing shovels. But most of all, thank you, to my family for always being each other's rock and support. Without you 5, I would be lost in this world. I love you.

And thank you Thomas. You, I met by chance, in a treeplanting camp, when my girlfriends and I decided come and party. You, who happened to be going 20 minutes from where I grew up, for summer plant. You, who I felt so shy around, and yet so comfortable around from the start. You are my other half, my love of loves, my best friend, partner in crime, counselor, and my rock. You have taught me to be a better planter, and work things in a better way, but really those things carry into our lives. Thank you Thomas, for having passion in what you do, even though some days you seem to despise it, and taking pride in it, because I wouldn't be the planter I am without the pride that you instilled in me. How fortunate is it that we met by chance, and stayed together through some of the toughest times apart? How fortunate is it that we have each other for entertainment when, like now, we are looking for more work, and support when we feel down? Thank you, my handsome, thank you.

The further I dig, the more melancholic I become when I think of leaving all of this, and all of you. But, I know in the future, you will be there, for better or worse, treeplanting will be there for me, and I for it. And, the future is bright with different possibilities, and a different way of learning, for I am heading back to school. Strapping on my backpack, instead of my treeplanting bags, and picking up my pencil, instead of my shovel, I will wander into the unknown of being a grown woman in university.

Thank you again. I love all of you. And, I love you treeplanting.



2014-An Adventure Awaits

Incredible. This is a word that nearly describes how I am feeling at this very moment. Incredible, almost the right word, but perhaps not grandious enough.
Let's start right and proper, let's start at the beginning, the moment I found my flare for adventure... Life in general actually.
I felt trapped, and I was depressed. And from the moment I met this person, I learned about the meaning of happiness, of love, of laughter, and of life. His name was Eric. Now, those of you who know me, know exactly what this person meant to me. You will know that he, first of all, taught me to not sweat the small things ( which at times I have been guilty of forgetting), laugh, love, live. However, as sad as it may seem, it took the passing of Eric, for all he taught me to really take hold. The moment I heard the horrible news, was the exact moment I took hold of my own happiness, the moment I took it back from the hands of others. This was the moment I chose to live... In my own way. This was to travel, and to find myself outside of my comfort zone. Travel to southeast Asia.
That trip, the trip with so many mishaps, and trial and tribulations, taught me so much about who I am, who I can be, what I am capable of, and all I would love to accomplish in my life. It was that trip that I allowed myself to open up, meet some of the most amazing, incredible people from all over the world, and learn as much as I could.
Now, please don't take all of this the wrong way. I don't not wish this to appear as a sob story (although the passing of Eric is not something I find okay), I only hope you can see where I am coming from, see that one moment can change your entire perspective on how you react to the world.

Now, onto my newest adventure... NICARAGUA!!!
Thomas, (my love, my partner in fun, my best friend), and I arrived on the 10th of January. A mere four days ago, well there days ago really. We arrived late in the evening, walking out of the cold airplane to a humid, hot airport. Feeling bombarded by taxi driver, we both slipped into the washrooms to switch our documents and money over to our hidden spots, and took our first steps in Nicaragua. Ricardo, our taxi driver, at first seemed like he had something up his sleeve. We stopped at two gas stations on the way, the first one he tried to get diesel, but didn't have any money for it, on the way to the next one a block away, he explained to us his need for cash. He told us that his mother was in the hospital, and he hadn't worked for a few days, so he had no money to get gas. Even though this could have been an 'elaborate truth' (as I like to call a lie), I believe in the inherent goodness of people, and so will believe this story. Thomas gave him the $5 he wanted, and he cut the price of the taxi accordingly. Ricardo, I believe only wished to tell us about his country he was proud of. He was an information bucket, full of goodies. What a treat!
Well, here is my first send off, of my new blog. I am really treading in unknown waters here. So I will leave you with this...
"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open up to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life." -John Lennon